IchiTwitchyTwist
by Blackfox Nightengale
Summary: Ichigo goes for a normal visit to the soul society and...nothing is never normal for ichigo. WARNING: gender bender female ichigo and later on yaoi and if i can yuri. don't like it then don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**AU **ok sorry for the long wait. i havent really had time nor the capacity to write anymore on the to be or not to be story so for the moment it is postponed till further notice. this is a new story that i thought would be fun to read. now moving on. This story is gender-bender and yaoi...in later chapters. so yeah. i hope you enjoy. P.S i do not own bleach. in fact none of us do or we would have some f***ed up characters. *evil giggle*

* * *

**The research and development lab, Soul Society.**

"Nemu! Nemu! Where is that impudent girl" grumbled the ever complaining Kurotsutchi. He looked around his lab one last time to make sure he had what he needed. He even double checked his pocket. He couldn't afford to lose this bit of fun. He found the small round container with a purple-sparkle dust in his pocket, just enough for one person to experim….try it on. He could always make more from the formula he had stored with all of the others that came before it. He had a sly grin on his face as he left his squad barracks trying to pinpoint who would be the unlucky victi…participant in his latest discovery. The first targe….person that came to mind was the frost captain that was known as Byakuya Kuchiki.

* * *

**Elsewhere in the Seireti… **

Said captain was sitting at his desk doing his usual round of paper work. His fukutaicho was on the couch in the room doing what appeared to be…yes he was. Picking at his ears. 'well at least its not his nose' he thought .'how could I have gotten stuck with someone like him' "ACHHHOOO"

"ne bless you Captain" the onery spiked red head said, mildly looking up from cleaning his ears.

* * *

**Elsewhere Elsewhere in the Seireti….**

Ukitake was coming down a corridor with a hell butterfly on his index finger with a smile on his face. This of course being one of the rare days that he was out of the hospital wing. He came to a door and knocked on the wall beside it. "Rukia? Are you there. I have something I wish to share with you." The captain said as he knocked on the door.

The door slid open to reveal a battle ready Rukia. "haha. No no, calm down. Nothing like that in fact its quite good news." He said as he saw her stance relax. "what is it captain?" she asked with a clear look of puzzlement on her face.

"this little butterfly was sent to me by Yachiru" he said lifting the finger that still had the butterfly on it. "she said that there was a certain orange-haired shinigami wreaking havoc in the 11th division barracks and that "Kenny" was having too much fun and she was getting bored." As he said this Rukia's face instantly lifted and then fell slightly.

'why couldn't I feel his reistu when he entered the seireiti' she thought before excusing herself and rushing to either go and help Ichigo or help get captain Unohana for Kenpachi.

* * *

**11****th**** division**

An old style Japanese paper-sliding door opened on the training grounds of the 11th division barracks….right in the middle of their training. This of course caused everyone to stop momentarily and stare. The lower ranked officers were somewhat surprised at the orange spikey mop that was following a hell butterfly. Only two faces truly lit up. That of Ikaku Madarame and Captain Kenpachi Zaraki. The two were on opposite sides of the battlefield yet both looked at the orange mop with bloodlust in their eyes. Ichigo didn't have to see them all he had to do was sense them, feel those eyes boring into him waiting for the slightest muscle movement. All ichigo could do was think about how he ended up in the current predicament and on how he was going to make Urahara pay for it.

**Urahara's shop *Flashback***

"_gah. Why do I have to go again." Ichigo asked as he st ared at the green hated man in front of him. Ichigo had his arms casually crossed in usual ichigo fashion and had a look of utter annoyance on his face._

"_simple dear ichigo, several of the captains wished to meet with you and are unable to come to the world of the living to meet" he said as if that were a hastle to explain even that much. _

"_ahhh. I still don't see why I have to go over there. I wanted to actually enjoy my break with friends not going into some stupid meeting. Actually last time I checked all matters over there were strictly soul society business and im not apart of the soul society so what could they even want to have a meeting with me for in the first place? And what about that big tv-like thing. I know you have one." He said getting a little more than exasperated. _

"_oh that old thing, well you see." He said putting in a pause as he leaned closer "it broke" _

_Ichigo, having been there for hours, nearly snapped past all reason at hearing this. "FINE DAMNIT! How long do I have to stay over there anyway?" he asked finally calming back down and looking like a child that realized he was not getting his toy back until his happy meal was finished. _

"_hrmmm." Urahara said folding his fan up and lightly bumping it against his chin "only a day or two really, three at the most." He finished unfolding it again. He heard Ichigo's sigh and went off into his basement to ready the door. "oh one more quick thing," he added as he stopped and slightly turned his head around to Ichigo, "is there any place specific that you would like to arrive at?" he finished with a mischievous sparkle in his eye, one that would rival that of Yourichi. _

***End Flashback***

* * *

***back in the middle of the fight***

Zaraki was bringing down his zanpaktou as Ikaku was charging forward with his bare hands determined to beat Kurosaki this time. Ichigo saw his chance to escape the battle crazed lunatics and took it. He shunpoed straight up and took off in the direction of Captain Ukitake's barracks. As he cleared the perimeter of the division 11 grounds he ran into rukia.


	2. Chapter 2

AN/ I'm not that good at battle scenes so therefore it shall be somewhat short for now, later on I wish to make them longer and better. But without further ado here is chapter 2 of Itchy-twitchy-twist. Mew Mew. Oh btw I know there are going to be BIG spelling errors and grammatical errors so please with that in mind do not flame please. And you can thank whitespiderlilly for being my muse on this story.

***back in the middle of the fight***

Zaraki was bringing down his zanpaktou as Ikaku was charging forward with his bare hands determined to beat Kurosaki this time. Ichigo saw his chance to escape the battle crazed lunatics and took it. He shunpoed straight up and took off in the direction of Captain Ukitake's barracks. As he cleared the perimeter of the division 11 grounds he ran into rukia. "oomf" came her reply as he steadied her.

"Rukia, are you okay?" he said and paused long enough for her to reply a small yes before he nodded his head and took off again before she could retaliate for him knocking her over. All she saw was the 11th division barracks get smaller and smaller and for a little she didn't know what was going on until she realized that ichigo had grabbed her and took off with her.

By the time they landed back at squad13 barracks Ukitake was outside in the garden waiting for either word from unohana or rukia herself. Instead he received a seemingly uninjured Ichigo Kurosaki and a slightly flustered Rukia Kutchiki. He went up to them to make sure neither one was hurt. Sighing in relief when he was satisfied that the two truly were unharmed he resigned himself to being polite again instead of the pushy persona he adopted when dealing with injured others, and when he wanted something.

"Hello Ichigo." He said as he inclined his head towards him, then turned his attention back to Rukia. "I'm glad to see that you found him, and in one piece as well. Tell me ichigo how did you manage to escape from the dreaded Zaraki and his battle crazed minion…erm squad.?" He asked.

All ichigo could do was stare for a moment actually catching his slip up. He blinked…..blinked again then started laughing. "you think that too?" he asked in a disbelieving voice through gasps of air. All he got in ways of a response was a slight smirk from the silver-haired man, but that was enough of an acknowledgement as well as a sign for him to continue and answer the previously asked question. " Well, I didn't really escape so much as just evaded them for right now. Honestly had they not both come at me at the same time I wouldn't have been able to get away without damage to the surrounding area, them, and me." He said as he put his hands out palm up in a 'why bother' gesture.

This made the captain slightly smirk at Ichigo's nonchalance of the matter. However he did have a reason for him being there. So with that in mind he turned around and started walking back towards the barracks and paused when he got to the door and turned his head. "Come on you two. We have some things to discuss and it would be best to do it over some nice herbal tea. Don't you think?" he finished as he started sliding the door open. He heard footsteps behind him to indicate that they were following him. He lead them down so many corridors that Ichigo was sure he was lost and would never find his way out without any help.

They finally came to a room with a table and three places already set. "wow guess you were expecting us hugh?" ichigo said as he took the seat indicated to him by Ukitake. The odd thing to ichigo was that the table was circular, not square. Most of the nobility and captains had square tables that indicated that they had more power than the person they were talking to, and you only learned that if you were close enough to one to get invited into a private room instead of the office where they sat behind a desk and you sat open and exposed.

"Yes I was. In fact I was expecting you earlier but forgot to factor in Zaraki." He stated as he took one of the pre-placed cushions on the floor. "Now on to the reason you were "ordered" here Ichigo." He said giving him a look that said it was common knowledge for everyone but him. Which ichigo was not really liking. Ichigo shot his own look that clearly stated if it's common knowledge then why the hell couldn't Urahara have told me. He even found it worthy enough of a look to verbalize it.

"Ukitake, I understand that you're a captain but if everyone knows about this then why couldn't Urahara have told me about this. I mean it is summer vacation and I had planned for a different way to spend my week, especially if this isn't anything life threatening or anything threatening for Karakura town." He said in an almost exasperated tone as he somewhat gently sat his tea cup down. Having only picked it up out of courtesy for the captain, come to find out it was good tea.

"well, Ichigo, you see it is common knowledge but I figured it was common knowledge for you as well. The only reason why it was "ordered" for you to come here was so that you could be here and not raise any suspicions with the Head Captain. That reason being that it is his birthday party and this year the comity, yes don't give me that look they self-appointed themselves, wanted to include everyone. As far as they are concerned you are a part of that everyone. I was going off of the assumption that you already knew and was going to tell you some of the plans for the party. If you do not wish to be here I fully understand that and respect that decision even, but you have to inform the comity that way they know of your absence." He stated while giving ichigo an approving nod. That was when Rukia took it as her cue to come in and try to wrangle the strawberry into staying. She gave ichigo her full attention and started talking in the dreaded school girl voice that every man has a hard time disagreeing with lest they look like asswads.

"please ichigo. You just heard Captain say that **everyone **was gonna be there. I figured you would want to spend time with your friends during the break but, ichigo, don't you have friends here that you could spend just a little time with. I mean we are your friends right? Right?" she finished looking up at him with the teary doe eyes that again if a man worth the title of being a man ignored or tried to argue with would look like a total asshat.

"gah. Eh….fine Rukia you win. When is the party anyway?" he asked looking back and forth between Ukitake and the quickly recovered Rukia. He puts a hand to the back of his head as a nervous gesture.

"oh it's two days from now" says Ukitake trying to keep the peace.

"Fine. Where will I stay tho. I mean not like I have a designated place to stay since I usually dot stay more than a day on my visits here."

"Yes well that is already taken care of. There is a spare room or 5 in the 13th squads barracks. Your more than welcome to one of them. Rukia can show you the way if you'd like."

No sooner had he finished Rukia had already grabbed ichigo by the wrist and was currently in the process of dragging him down the maze like corridors. Ukitake could do nothing more than look at the retreating figures and think about what it was like to be so young again, and perhaps a time before his tb started acting up.

***elsewhere in the 13****th**** squad's barracks***

"Oi midget I can walk you know. Im not a cripple" ichigo called out as Rukia continued to drag him.

"Oh, but ichigo I don't want to give you the chance to run. Besides im only showing you the room then the garden connected to it that way you wont have to guess at where you are in the compound. Then after you have seen your room we are going to meet Renji. He doesn't know your back and I want to surprise him. Not only that we have to get the Head Captain's gift." She stated as they came to a halt in front of a plain Japanese style sliding door. Then she turned around and pointed at the garden and pond that was stopped by a wall. The fact that it was a corner helped because it meant that ichigo would be able to find the corner again and get to the right room. Not that he would ever admit this to Rukia but he was grateful for her thoughts on him not being used to the compound and getting lost easily.

Ok im gonna stop it there for now and I promise that chapter 3 will be up shortly due to the simple fact that im trying to break bad habits and staying up all hours of the night and some of the morning and not getting anything productive done, well anything productive over the entire summer as well, has got to go. So im trying to break a few others as well but yeah. My goal is to have up to chapter 6 or 7 by the time school starts again and make each chapter longer and improve my battle scenes. Hehe. So till the next update. OH PS go check out Whitespiderlilly. She has a few stories up and they are pretty awesome. One of her goals is to get the rest of the chapters she has, typed and posted.


	3. Chapter 3

AN. All right im back with ch. 3. Yay. So without further ado on with the story.

Special thanks to Blackace65, Whitespiderlilly, and my own special Haru-bunny (who has her own account Bunnykoi). Sorry it took so long to reload this story and finish typing. Thanks for sticking with tho. I have added an extra AN to the end read or don't but it does explain some things. ^.^

***Captain Ukitake's office***

He sat behind his desk trying to catch up on the paper work that he had missed due to his last hospitalization that, in his opinion was far too long, yet Captain Unohana is still quite scary when it comes to her patients and what she believes is in their best interests. So here he was trying to fix some outdated materials when the door being flung open and a disgruntled Nanao that was screaming bloody murder for her captain, who happened to be Ukitakes old friend and sometimes drinking buddy, Captian of the eighth company Shunsui Kyoraku.

"Nanao. How may I help you dear?" he asked after getting over being slightly startled at her abrupt entrance.

"Captain Ukitake, forgive my entrance but please tell me you have seen my captain?" she asks with a pleading voice.

"I'm terribly sorry my dear but I haven't seen him since he came to visit me in the hospital yesterday." He said as he put his pen down and started to rise from his desk. He came around and grabbed her shoulder to steady her and began to speak again. "but I will help you look for him." At hearing this she brightened and looked less like a wilting flower. Unfortunately a hell butterfly cam through the window and announced that the head captain wished to have a meeting with all the captains and their fuku-taicho. "well. I guess that means that our search has been called off. Come nanao he will be at the meeting and I will make sure he doesn't scamper off afterwards."

"Thank you captain". She said as they both left to get to the meeting.

***Back with Ichigo***

"Come on. I told you that after I showed you the room we were going to go see Renji. He doesn't know you're here yet. Actually as a matter of fact I didn't know you were here either. I still cant feel you even though im looking right at you. When did you learn to hide your spirit pressure?" she asked as she was dragging him to the wall of the compound to leave.

"Well one I've been working with Urahara and secondly I can still walk you do not have to drag me anywhere." He said while still struggling to get his arm free of Rukia's death grip. Though it was proving to be a vain attempt. It appeared that he was even forgotten about as said man walked around the corner and waved his hand in greeting….until he saw that Ichigo was being drug through the stone…..was that an Ichigo face trail?...was that even possible?

"Ohio Renji" rukia said as she raised her hand and had completely forgetting about a certain orange haired teen that was eating literal dirt.

"Ohio Rukia…..um is that ichigo?" he asked with a still confused expression. He watched her startle and then begin to giggle…..wait….giggle…..yes giggle. Creepy. She released Ichigos wrist and acted as if she hadn't just drug him for a good 10-15 minutes. Definitely creepy. "Hey Berry when did you get here?" he asked with a smug look on his face at seeing the orange haired teen in the dirt, and trying to repress the scene that just occurred. Rukia giggling, never a good thing and especially a bad thing to remember.

Ichigo's hand being finally released when Renji addressed him stood and glared at the short female by his side. Finally it registered that not only had Renji ignored his need for help from the insane girl but also insulted him all in the short span of a few minutes. That was just unacceptable. "Oi Oi Oi. Where do you get off calling me Berry? Hugh Baka?" His left foot slid forward and he slightly crouched and put his hand over his shoulder as if to grab Zangetsu.

Before Renji could retort he noticed that Ichigos trademark cleaver wasn't on his back and ichigo was in fact grabbing thin air. Renji then took it upon himself to have a deer in the headlights moment. He lifted his hand and pointed a finger at where ichigos sword should be, yet for some reason wasn't. At this action Rukia took it upon herself to notice this slight oversight as well.

"Ichigo where the hell is Zangetsu?!" she practically screamed in his ear as she jumped back slightly as if this weren't the real Ichigo in front of her but an imposter. Noticing that his friends finally picked up on his latest achievement gave a playful yet evil smirk and bowed his head. With his hair having grown out it overshadowed his eyes. He held his hand flat over his shoulder then made a fist as if he were grabbing something and swung it in front of him. As he did this Zangetsu materialized from hilt to tip. To say that Renji and Rukia were shocked and amazed would be to say that Kurotsutchi was only slightly loony and didn't have a straight jacket to snuggle with at night instead of a stuffed animal.

Renji was the first to snap out of the daze and realize that Ichigo had done the, what was once thought impossible, and materialized his blade out of practical thin air. "Ichigo….what did you just do?"

"I told you I've been practicing with Urahara. I can practically hide my reishi by dematerializing zangetsu." He said as he let go of the hilt and watched it disappear. "So since were all here now where do you want to go?" he glanced over at Rukia for the answer.

She had finally come to from her stupper and had a smirk on her face. "Let's go to the 10th division". For some reason both the boys really didn't like that smirk. Ichigo turned to Renji about to make a comment when he saw Soul Society's notorious messenger system, the hell butterflies. It landed on Renji's shoulder and relayed its message before meandering off. Renji looked to his two friends and said, "Sorry guys a mandatory meeting has been called for all captains and vice-captains. Ill be back as soon as I can and I want a spar." He said pointing to Ichigo. With that he took off.

Rukia looked to Ichigo. "well there goes my plan. I was going to visit Lieutenant Matsumoto and tell her that you were here. Oh well, let's go to lunch." She began to walk off and Ichigo had to wonder because Rukia did actually look put off and upset that she couldn't show him off. This irked him somewhat and he couldn't figure out why. He liked her. He shouldn't be irked. Right?

***At the captains meeting***

After a few moments of confusion all the captains and vice-captains had been seated in the meeting room with the head captain at the front of the room as normal. The confusion came from the fact that everyone was sitting. They never sat and yet here they were. Another confusion came from the fact that the vice-captains had been ordered there and offered pillows to sit on as well. The only times that the captain and vice-captain meetings merged was when there was an immanent threat of destruction. Immanent as in 5 seconds away. It just wasn't done. So to say that everyone was tense and had one if not both hands on their zanpoktou was a rather large understatement.

Finally after several moments of severe tension the head captain spoke. "Everyone, you may relax. This is an important matter that I want all of your opinions on but not one that requires violence." He was speaking rather slowly and those that did not know him would believe it to be age. Fortunately those in the room did know their supreme captain and knew that even with his appearance his age was not affecting him. He was weighing his words before he spoke. "I have called this meeting for the sole purpose of deciding Kurosaki Ichigo's fate and position within the Gotei 13." He paused to allow that information to sink in and be absorbed….and then the protests. There were several shouts of indignation and welcoming. One voice that did not join the cacophony was Byakuya Kuchiki's. It was believed that he was not speaking out of principal but there was a rather uncharacteristic smirk on his face. "Captain Kuchiki. Will you inform me of your position on this matter?"

Having been addressed he slowly raised his eyes to his captain and began to speak. "Head Captain, with all due respect I was wondering when we would have this meeting." He then stepped forward to fully address his captain. "He may still be an insolent ryouka but he is strong and even stronger willed. I have grudgingly given him my respect because he has not only earned it but deserves it, and he has never asked for it or actively sought it out. If he were to accept, I and the Kuchiki clan would stand behind him if the position of captain were offered to him." His peace haven been said he stepped back into line and sat down. His fukutaicho by this point long since lost his ability to speak and jaw, which was on the floor, seemed to want to faint. His captain, the brother of his crush, the one that considers Ichigo a bane to his existence not only just stood up for Ichigo but agreed that he would back him and willingly work along side him. Apparently Renji wasn't the only one shocked, the head captain included, he opened his eyes.

The head captain again addressed everyone present. "That is what I was thinking of Byakuya. If offered the position how many will back this decision?"

He was met with one loud voice, not so surprisingly it was Soi Fon who was vehemently denying Ichigo's rise to captaincy. She wanted him nowhere near the same level she stood on. It wasn't going to happen. The head captain seeing this raised his hand and everyone quieted down once again. "I can see this isn't getting very far. Very well Soi Fon, if you will not let him take a captains position then he will take over for my position as head captain." That being said everyone went back to reassess their earlier statement and began to think that maybe the head captain's age really was affecting his judgment.

Kyoraku, who up until this point, was hiding his face looked up to see the varied reactions and couldn't hold back his laugh. Nanao who had already smacked him for skipping out on the paper work earlier was startled that he would do such a thing in the middle of a meeting. Hearing his laughter at this the voices died down as everyone stared at him. Soi Fon having had enough snapped at him.

"WHAT. Do you think is so funny captain?" her glare was that of a dangerous pretator.

Chuckle "You are captain. Honestly if we can rope Ichigo into it then ill back him for the old man's job. When yama-jii steps down its either ukitake or me that will take over and I don't want that. So if we can tie him to it ill stand behind and beside him." Having said that he pulled his hat lower on his face and got up to walk towards the door.

"where the hell do you think your going Kyoraku? The head captain hasn't dismissed us yet." Soi fon was really pissed off now.

"Im headed off to see what mischief our resident substitute shinigame has gotten into." He finished as he got to the door and then left.

"Yes I have given you all much to think about we will reconvien in a few days time and make a final vote. Dismissed" with that bing said he banged his cane to the floor and the captains began to leave. When the door closed behind the last captain he let out a sigh and let his lieutenant step forward. "that went better than I expected and I do agree with Kyoraku if we could rope him into it I would force kurosaki to be the next head captian."

**ANANANANANANANAN\**

OK so I know at this point in time the Bleach series has ended in Japan and some things have been revealed. Well I will be ignoring them. I don't like them. Not only that but yes some of the main characters will vary from mild OC to extreme OC I apologize in advanced but its just the way that it is.


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